what's meant for you will always find you

how life returns what is ours, in its own time

it is something that is easy to say, but much harder to believe when you are going through something painful. in those moments, you start to wonder: “was this not meant for me? why?” and sometimes, we fight to make it ours.

i’ve learned that fighting to make something yours, does not meant it was meant for you. you should not have to leave claw marks trying to hold onto what’s already yours.

this probably won’t lead anywhere, and honestly, i don’t think i’m that good at writing. i just need a place to speak, to lay my thoughts somewhere in case someone else needs them too.

i’m trying to make sense of my life and the ridiculous situations that i find myself in.

i was engaged but it did not work out, i basically got left at the altar in a way. not as dramatic but it sure feels like it. i paid for my dress, the venue, the flight tickets… everything. it was supposed to happen in one month and it got called off a few days ago.

it’s crazy how quick life changes. one moment, you’re in love and visualising a whole life together. slow breakfasts, grocery runs, anniversaries, maybe even the quiet excitement of expecting a child. and then suddenly, you’re alone with nothing but the echoes of what never got the chance to be.

we truly have no control of how things will happen, but we always have to remember that what’s meant for us will find us. it’s destiny and faith. it can be applied to almost any situation; a job offer, moving to a different country, love, friendships, travel plans.

perhaps this was not the right time, or the right person. perhaps you have a better offer elsewhere. perhaps you would not be happy. perhaps you are avoiding future heartbreak. perhaps you are safer this way. perhaps circumstances change and you would want something else.

i believe that you can’t escape what is meant for you, the same way that you cant escape the cold grasp of death. no matter how much you fight it, no matter how much you try to stay in the familiar situation, you will get what you are owed. whether you call it fate, god, or the universe… it is always working, even when it feels like it is not. this is its way of looking out for you and it knows what is best for you.

what’s yours will find you. what isn’t will fall away.

and maybe, just maybe, that’s okay.