34 Comments
User's avatar
Sanya's avatar

Virelle, you've captured what I feel swiftly in those words. I've been there and I believe in good deeds. People hurt you more when you're kinder. I feel stuck in my life because I feel its hard for me to act cold. But I hate people now. I hate those who expect me to sacrifice for them while keeping my mouth shut. I still do their chores but now I don't do it out of kindness, more like a responsibility. And now, i don't overburden myself for them. I want peace and still looking for it behind the closed doors.

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virelle's avatar

aww sanya i know exactly what you mean by responsibility 😭 just remember to put yourself first, it’s a slow process but you get there! be selfish 🤍 i hope you find peace. thank you for reading <3

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𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚞˙ᵕ˙'s avatar

by the title alone i knew this would eat.. and it did😩

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virelle's avatar

thank you! 🫶

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liz's avatar
Jun 26Edited

“she thinks if she’s patient, if she’s easy to love, it will work.” ughhh so well written and moving💌

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virelle's avatar

thank you liz! 🤍

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el★'s avatar

this was so needed!!! seeing your mothers go through all that makes you believe that love requires endurance, we are always taught only a "good woman" is deserving of love, the one who endures silently, lets everyone exploit her, the patience, her efforts, her endurance, everything is taken for granted, even herself and people glorify her sacrifices, instead of holding themselves accountable, this was beautiful<3

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virelle's avatar

exactly! and in the end she gets nothing for everything she has done🧍‍♀️i can’t stand it!! thank you for reading

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Zia Barti's avatar

dahhling this is INCREDIBLE, and SO perfectly put!! u devoured sis, what a masterpiece 👏👏👏💖💖💖💅💅💅💅🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍✨✨✨👑👑👑❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🫂🫂🫂☺️☺️☺️

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virelle's avatar

thank you zia ily 🥹🤍 i’m glad you liked it!

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Zia Barti's avatar

💪💪💪💅💅💅👏👏👏✨️✨️✨️😎😎😎😘😘😘💖💖💖❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹👑👑👑

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hannah's avatar

PERIOD oh my gosh this was so magnificently written

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virelle's avatar

🤍🤍

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jeanne's avatar

Did your mother become happier without her self-absorbed husband, when he left? It's sad you witnessed a bad dad. My own experience was similar but my dad turned his thoughts around in his later years. He grew with time.

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virelle's avatar

it’s still very fresh, which prompted me to make this post 😅 she is still trying to figure out what to do. because if she walks away right now then she leaves with nothing.

also that’s great!! i’m really happy for you, truly 🫶 everyone deserves a present dad, and i’m glad that your dad realised it. i’m sorry you went through something similar though :( it really is hard. my dad is 65 and he did this recently, so i don’t know if he will ever grow

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jeanne's avatar

Yes, I agree, 65 is not an age for changing, but if he lives to 90, he'll probably regret his "youthful" mistakes. Your mom needs a good lawyer 🎯. She'll be happier without him once the transition passes. 🫂🙏🏽☮️🤍 She's fortunate to have you.

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fatima's avatar

this was a moving read!

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virelle's avatar

thank you!

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asha 🌞's avatar

your writing is absolutely beautiful! i really, really resonated with it

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virelle's avatar

thank you so much! that means a lot to me

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Minks 🫦's avatar

Virelle, you captured the life of the good woman beautifully. It was such a lovely read.

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virelle's avatar

thank you for reading 🤍🤍

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Minks 🫦's avatar

You’re welcome!

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Melchior's avatar

A beautiful piece as always. As a man, it helps me to read this and learn of a woman's experience, seeing what she endures, what she feels, and how she handles it all. If anyone deserves to get reciprocity in love by being the good woman, it's you.

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virelle's avatar

you are a good man <3 i love you, thank you

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Velvet's avatar

„so many of us were raised to settle for less than what we need because we were afraid of asking for more“

damn! very well written, thank you so much for sharing this^^

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virelle's avatar

thank you for reading!

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20something +'s avatar

i am thinking how they want you to be a certain way that is convenient but then used against you in the same way. this made me feel very angry and reminded of a million little stories and a million not so little stories of mine. you make an excellent and valuable point - our softness is not weakness. it is goodness and strength and valuable. and for that we have to ask for compensation just like any other trade in this world. it isn't cold transaction unless you take without giving back. i love your writing and am so so glad to have found you.

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virelle's avatar

i’m making a huge effort to encourage all the women in situations like this to be selfish too! they deserve it, after giving all they have but getting nothing in return. men are allowed to be selfish, so why aren’t we? and thank you so much 🤍

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Aastha Gupta's avatar

The women of this generation, we, are saying that 'enough is enough', letting our feminine rage through and displaying strength. Women are not weak, we are told to be weak. A man will always need a woman but a woman can stand alone which is proof enough that women aren't weak. I heard someone say that, "everyone that has a womb is Shakti (a Hindu goddess) but not everyone that has seed is Shiva (a Hindu god), that state has to be attained." This post resonates exactly to that, a woman's love is divine and only the ones who deserve it can and should receive it. Love it!

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virelle's avatar

exactly!! i love that reference, i’ve never heard it but it’s beautiful. thank you for reading 🤍

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BellyLines's avatar

The growth part knock the air out of me. All of this is marvelous ❤️

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virelle's avatar

thank you for reading 🥹

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Alsartawi's avatar

As a man from the middle eastern culture, i agree with you. Because i can compare between the 2 cultures. Having lived in the west for decades, I think the essence of the western female has been abused by the male to the greates extent possible.

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